Pros and Cons - Divorce
The decision of whether or not to divorce can be an agonizing one. Many couples spend years facing this decision, sometimes with professional help, all the while fluctuating between hope and despair.
In deciding whether or not to divorce, one should weigh the pros and cons for the long term. One of the biggest pros associated with divorce is an opportunity for a fresh start. For those who are considering divorce, the issues and problems within the marriage can become overwhelming. The marriage can cease to be an enjoyable union, instead becoming a draining, stifling, constant source of stress. The need to escape from those problems and start anew can become almost primal, and couples in this situation may find that divorce is the only way to regain an individual, independent sense of peace and balance.
Another pro of divorce is that sometimes the two spouses simply no longer share the same goals. For example, if one has decided that he or she wants to make a major change in career, location, or other major lifestyle change, the other partner may not agree to these changes. When a couple is faced with conflicting interests and goals, the marriage can become a struggle to convince one another of a notion that the other partner simply does not share. In fact, it may be that neither partner is right or wrong, and it may be that neither will ever share the other’s opinion no matter how hard they try. In these cases, an amicable divorce can enable both spouses to pursue his or her goals individually without the resentment that can be associated with sacrificing for the other person.
However, the cons associated with divorce should at least give pause to those considering the dissolution of marriage. For one, the obvious emotional difficulties associated with divorce can be draining. Indeed, divorce is frequently cited as one of the most stressful times in a person’s life—it can be as difficult as the death of a loved one, and it can carry similar emotional consequences. Moreover, if there are children in the marriage, the children may find the divorce difficult, straining and confusing. The pressure placed upon the children can only exacerbate those strains already upon the shoulders of the divorcing parents. For this reason, many choose to remain in an unhappy marriage simply to avoid the heartache of divorce.
Another con to divorce can be financial. In many states, any property accrued during a marriage is community property, regardless of how it was accrued and regardless of the reasons for divorce. In these cases, many spouses ultimately work for years or decades to build a certain amount of wealth only to realize that in a divorce, they will lose half or more than half of their net worth to their ex-spouses. Child support, spousal support and community property are all financial factors that come into play during a divorce, and many couples also lose substantial quantities of money to legal assistance during the divorce process itself.
In weighing the pros and cons of divorce, one should first consider whether or not the marriage can be saved. In addition, one should try to objectively envision life after divorce and consider whether or not it will realistically be better than the marriage. A closer examination of the issues within the marriage may reveal that divorce is not likely to solve those problems for the individual spouses. In this case, the couple may choose to work on resolving the problems together, after all, instead of divorcing.